Dear Caixa Geral de Depósitos,

When I have waited almost an hour to get to the desk, and I ask why you don't just open the other cash desk at busy times, PLEASE don't tell me that I have to wait for an hour just to deposit a cheque because "the opening of just one cash desk at a time is a method of working that we have decided to use," when you have twenty or thirty people in the queue, mostly old, because they're the ones who can't bank online, mostly without seats because there are precisely seven seats in the whole bank, with each customer taking twice as long as anyone ever need take at a caixa because a. this is Portugal and that's what people do, making things more complicated than they need, but also, and worse, b. because the person on the caixa, while supposedly dealing with each customer, is available to questions from any Tomás, Ricardo or Henrique* in the queue or amongst his colleagues who might need to know any goddam thing whenever they damn well please and when I ask you why that is, don't you dare suggest that it's "just because." because one of these days one of the people in the queue, one of the many who are sitting there complaining to each other, huffing loudly each time the manager walks past, or a cashier goes for coffee, one of them IS going to get stabby or have a stroke and it will be YOUR fault because YOU caused it.  

And DON'T come back to me and say, "ooh, but we're the national bank, we don't really need to compete with the other banks with service and shit" when you spent SO much money on advertising your supposedly fantastic customer facilities.  Just DON'T.   

I need to go and kick something.   half. morning. wasted.

 Yours sincerely, 

 Me. 

* Tom, Dick or Harry.... obv.   

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written by Bauke , June 30, 2009

Heh. Guess who's doing banner ads for Caixa Online...?

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written by juno , June 30, 2009

i see not much has changed then next time write them a letter with all account details and enclose the cheque. less hassle for you, more for them. assuming you can do this in cgd, my bank was espirito santo

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written by ana , June 30, 2009

Just one of the many reasons I closed my account there as soon as it wasn't mandatory for teachers to have a CGD account any more. Although the final drop for me was when they sent me a credit card I hadn't ask for and then forced me to go down to the bank to cancel the blasted thing.

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written by lucy , June 30, 2009

juno, bugger all has changed.... i'll do what you suggest. how tings with you?

bauke, could you stick some subliminal flashes in them saying "bollocks!!!!!!" or something, PLEASE??????

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written by lucy , June 30, 2009

ana, I'm going to do the same, if I ever earn any money ever again

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written by ana , June 30, 2009

well, look on the bright side: if you never make money again, you'll have no need for a bank account and you can be done with them just the same.

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written by lucy , June 30, 2009

waaaaaah! at the moment that feels like a distinct possiblity.... i feel like I'm just destined to move house for eternity.

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written by Catherine , July 05, 2009

Aha, this bank sounds suspiciously like half the other banks in the world, and even the banks in Switzerland that deal with the Monsieur Thomases, Monsieur Richards and Monsieur 'Arrys too.

We've got water coolers, trendy furniture and no staff in ours at lunchtime aussi.

Some of the branches aren't even open at lunchtime.

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written by Rachel , July 26, 2009

Watch "The International" with the georgeous Clive Owen to see what banks are really about. Pure evil.