For a couple of years I started to think that the roads of Portugal, or rather, the highly fallable lumps of flesh that drive on them, were improving. I was wrong. I was driving less than I used to, and had become used to the fewer roads that I used everyday.
My kid has started going to school in Setúbal, 16kms from home. We leave home at 8.15, dropping her sister off first, then half an hour later, we're on the other side of the city and she scuttles into school, pretending that her mother isn't that embarrassing scruffy English one over there, waving and blowing kisses at her. The school run takes us down the EN10, which has had more [supposedly] safety measures installed on it in the last two years than one might think necessary. Roundabouts abound, barriers, little black and yellow sticks in the middle of the road, more radar speed sensors, the occasional policeman not just chatting by the roadside.
As a result of this new daily school run, my daughter is learning a whole raft of new swear words and unspeakable insults.
See these people above? See their number plates? Exactly. You can't, because they're so close up my arse. There is a kind of alpha-male-extending-to-everyone kind of shit still going on, that means that if they have a car bigger and younger than, say, MINE, they try and scare me off the road by driving so close that I just want to give up and cry (please don't think I'm a little old lady scared shitless driver who drives round at 40 all day... I'm quite a brazen speed freak myself, within reason). If they have a car that is [even] older than mine, they do the same thing, once they've spotted the woman in the driving seat. Then there's the new sickness of late middle age women who have come to driving late in life and have set up a cleaning business with a fucking Berlingo or something. They haven't a damn clue, and sit and gossip and smoke so close up my arse that I can hear the cackling.
There's no getting away from them. They're idiots and unfortunately, the idiots will probably be inheriting the earth, so I give up.
I kind of need a new car, not to get rid of my faithful 10 yr old Saxo, but as a back up now we're further out of town, but have been waiting as long as possible to get something as green as possible. But, no, sod it. I give up. I'm going to save the emissions produced in building a brand new car and get my self a second hand TANK. Nothing less. I can just mow the bastards down if they get stuck up my arse, by quickly nipping round and leaving my caterpillar track marks on their stupid unimaginative (if only they would IMAGINE what might happen if I HAD to slam on my brakes for a small hedgehog or snail) faces.
Yes. A tank.
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